ABIGAIL
YARDIMCI
BOOKS
ABIGAIL
YARDIMCI
BOOKS
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Equality
As a Humanist celebrant, it is very important to me to provide a truly inclusive and accessible service. This is not just because it’s part of my Humanist values, but because I have my own intersectionality to bring to the table.
I am fully appreciative of my privilege as a white, cis-gendered, average-sized, hetero woman and strive to challenge my own personal, unconscious biases even when it feels very uncomfortable. With that in mind, I’d also like to share a few things . . .
My Lived Experience
I am diagnosed as Autistic and on the assessment pathway for ADHD. I have partial bilateral hearing loss and suffer from a chronic form of spinal arthritis. I have experienced depression and anxiety during several points in my life. All of these health considerations have left me with lived experience of some difficult prejudices and systemic exclusion.
I am married to a Muslim man from a completely different culture which has posed countless challenges (and delights) over the seventeen years we’ve been married. We are raising multi-racial children in a world that is often hostile and obstructive. Whilst I fully benefit from the richness and diversity of my choices, I also feel the trials they pose on a daily basis.
LGBTQ+
I know it’s not something anybody should have to ask about, but I want you to know that your relationship and your wedding plans are safe and sound with me.
I am heterosexual and in a hetero relationship but I am a firm ally of the LGBTQ+ community – always have been.
I won’t make any assumptions about your gender and sexuality. I will invite you to share your pronouns with me and strive to use them correctly. How your relationship is described is up to you. You can share with me (or not) if your relationship is gay, straight, lesbian, same-sex / gender or other sex / gender.
Inclusive & Accessible
I am fully committed to making sure my ceremonies are inclusive and accessible. Just let me know if there are any adaptations you need me to make which might include things like:
Adapting the planning process to your learning style (e.g. you might prefer verbal voice notes or short videos over written emails)
Considering the mobility of guests when planning seating as well as entries and exits before and after the ceremony – this includes you!
Visiting a ceremony venue or space together beforehand to ease any anxieties
Incorporating hearing aids or a BSL interpreter
Making space for an interpreter if there are guests attending who won’t understand English
Giving clear and open instruction around accessibility for guests (e.g. guest participation / any loud noises, bright lights or strong smells anticipated)
My Equality Pledge
We all have unconscious, pre-conditioned biases and I am readily open to having mine challenged. It might not be easy, but the more of us who think like this, the closer we can get to a fair, inclusive and equitable society.
I will always strive not to assume a person’s gender identity, sex characteristics, sexual orientation, race, culture or religion / faith based on their appearance or otherwise. I will respect and follow any instructions I am given from a person about how they would like to be addressed, including gender, neurodivergence and disability pronouns.
I will do my best to adapt environments so they are accessible for clients with a disability and will work to individual access requirements as they are communicated to me.
Throughout all of my work, I will always strive to include representation of all groups / communities with special focus on those who are underrepresented.
I always try to share any learnings, insight and knowledge with others where it feels appropriate and will keep learning about equity, diversity and inclusion generally – I won’t be afraid to say, ‘I don’t know but I want to learn’.
I will always act with as much honesty and integrity as I can.
