ABIGAIL
YARDIMCI
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ABIGAIL
YARDIMCI
BOOKS
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Humanist Weddings
Planning a wedding can be a huge undertaking - filled with moments of overwhelm and fun. On what can be one of the most important days of your life, everything revolves around the very heart of it all: the ceremony.
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​I am very lucky I get to work with couples to create and communicate that heart, crafting the words, tone and mood so that it's a day to remember . . . for everyone.
What makes a Humanist Wedding different?
Choosing a Humanist wedding ceremony is a conscious choice to share your love story in the most special way. You can craft something completely bespoke to your beliefs, values and dreams. From music to words, rituals to guest involvement – a Humanist wedding embraces your individuality as a couple and celebrates everything you are as well as everything you will be in your marriage journey.
What can be included
Your ceremony can be as traditional or as alternative as you like - and everything in between
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You can find ways to combine the cultural traditions of each of you as individuals​
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If it fits you better, we can leave out things like exchanging rings or the bride being 'given away' - changing it up might be exactly what you want
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We can include references and rituals that embody your passions and interests
Your guests can be involved in things like ring-warming, singing, readings, Mexican waves - whatever you think might fit
We can honour loved ones no longer with us by lighting candles / bespoke readings / toasting them with a few special words
Symbolic acts might work for you - tree-planting, hand-fasting, sand-pouring or even a time capsule containing love letters or notes from your guests. We can dream something up together!
Got your own ideas? Great! Get in touch and tell me all about them.
With a Humanist wedding, the possibilities are pretty vast. However, there are a few limitations you might want to consider:
What can't be included
A Humanist ceremony wouldn’t include religious or spiritual aspects (cultural elements to represent heritage are, however, completely welcome)
Currently, we have to avoid the legal contractual language typical of a civil ceremony (but we can craft something far more interesting together anyway)
I don’t love the patriarchal statements made in some weddings such as: ‘who gives this woman to marry this man?’. If you want me to include that, I’m not the celebrant for you (and that’s ok!)
Legal Stuff
In most parts of the UK including England and Wales, you can currently only legally get married in licensed venues with the ceremony conducted by a Registrar from the Local Authority, or in a religious church ceremony.
So that means a Humanist wedding ceremony has no legal bearing. To get around this, most couples will book the register office separate to the main event so the Humanist ceremony is still the real heart of their union, even if it’s not legally binding.
Humanists UK is on the case and actively campaigning to make Humanist weddings legally recognised in England and Wales. Read all about it here!
So why choose a celebrant?
Just because your celebrant ceremony isn’t legally binding, doesn’t mean it’s not ‘real’ or ‘special’. A bit like signing the paperwork for a new car, think of that bit as a legal transaction. You can keep it really plain and don’t even need to exchange rings.
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Your celebrant ceremony is the real one – because it means something deeply personal to you. This is the time for celebrating each other and basking in the warm glow of attention and love from your family and friends. A legal transaction at a register office just doesn’t offer that.
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Unlike a registrar, my approach involves really getting to know you as a couple, exploring and drawing out your love story so that the final ceremony is meaningful, moving and genuinely heartfelt.
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With a Humanist celebrant, you’ll be working alongside a highly trained individual with full insurance and an amazing network of celebrant colleagues where advice, wisdom and ideas are shared generously. Now that is real peace of mind as you embark on the planning for your big day.
