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How to Explain the Tough Stuff to Kids
Kids are experts at asking the hardest questions at the worst possible moments. You’re just trying to enjoy your tea when they hit you with, “Where do people go when they die?” or “Why is the sky blue but clouds aren’t?”
Explaining the tough stuff to kids is no walk in the park, but you can do it. Here are a few things that will help:
Step 1: Keep It Simple, Sunshine
When your kids ask you a big question, you may be tempted to go into brainiac mode, overthink it, and go into detail they cannot understand, But if you start wanging on about quantum physics when they ask you if heaven is real, or get into the minutiae of burial when they’ve simply asked you what happens to our bodies after we die (when explaining about funeral directors and how they help would probably be enough) then you can end up confusing them more, and maybe even upsetting them too. So, keep it simple, keep it age-appropriate, and if they do need more answers than you can give, maybe finding a book written for their age group would be a good idea for you both.
Step 2: Be Honest (But Not Brutal)
Kids can smell a half-truth a mile away as every parent will be all too aware. So, if you don’t know the answer to something, admit it. “That’s a great question, let’s figure it out together!” is a lifesaver. Just avoid falling into the Google rabbit hole unless you fancy explaining black holes or how bees make honey.
Step 3: Emotions Are a-Okay
Sometimes, tough conversations aren’t just about facts—they’re about feelings. When discussing something hard, like the loss of a pet or loved one, let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. Bonus points if you show your emotions too—it makes you relatable.
Step 4: Stories and Analogies Work Wonders
Got a tricky concept to explain? Stories are your best friends. Comparing life to seasons, for example, can make big ideas more digestible. “Just like how summer turns to autumn, everything has its time to change” might help them see the circle of life without accidentally quoting The Lion King.
Step 5: It’s Okay to Laugh
Yes, these are serious topics, but a little humour can make everything feel less overwhelming. If your kid asks, “Why do people wear black at funerals?” feel free to joke about it being the only time Dad looks good in a suit.
Step 6: Keep the Conversation Going
Explaining tough stuff isn’t a one-and-done deal. Kids will revisit these topics as they grow and their understanding deepens. Be patient and open to more questions—yes, even the ones that make you wince.
Explaining life’s tough stuff to kids isn’t about having the perfect answers, but rather about being there and letting your kids know that they are free to ask about anything, no matter how tricky, and you will do your best to help them!
Go well,
Abi
xxx
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